Comments for Michael Forbes Wilcox

Comment on In memory of Lori Bonatakis, on the third anniversary of her Memorial Service by Scott

Scott — Thu, 23 May 2013 00:55:17 +0000

Thank you for this site. I had no idea she was gone. We had lost contact several years ago as we often did over the years as our lives took us in seperate directions but we were always good friends when we met up again, as if we never were apart. She will be missed. Kimber I haven’t seen you in a great many years, Buldog.

Comment on Okay, I’m Superman by Michael Forbes Wilcox

Michael Forbes Wilcox — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 21:45:14 +0000

Interesting comments on alexithymia. I’m still trying to sort out what it means, but now that I am aware it is very distinct from autism (or maybe anything else), I realize that I encounter it in all kinds of people. I would say that in my couples support groups, it is far more common among the neuroexceptional partners than in the neurotypicals, but that may be because it’s a very self-selected sample of couples. In any case, I’ve seen more than my fair share, and am still sorting out how to address the issues of alexithymia as distinct from autism.

And, it’s clear to me that it’s mostly unrelated to empathic capacity (how’s that for a statement that leaves some wiggle room?). You speculate “that alexithymia causes impairment of cognitive empathy, but not of emotional empathy” but my own experience (both personal and observed) tells me that’s a false dichotomy. See my post on the topic at http://www.mfw.us/blog/2013/03/22/empathy-as-a-form-of-communication/ where I describe a different way to think about empathy.

The Ramachandran article was evidently taken down in response to a complaint that it was old. Still, I have no reason to believe he has disavowed it. Quite the opposite. See my 4/19 “update” at the beginning of this post for a link to the text. If that disappears, I have saved it in a text file and can post it here.

Comment on Was Steve Jobs Autistic? by JoanieH

JoanieH — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 15:49:43 +0000

I wonder about Howard Hughes having been autism spectrum also.

Comment on Okay, I’m Superman by chavisory

chavisory — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 04:01:49 +0000

I’m alexithymic and still experience empathy. But quite possibly because I’m alexithymic, I THOUGHT for a long time that I wasn’t experiencing empathy, because the experience of it didn’t match up to the words that other people used for it, and I couldn’t connect any language of my own to the physical/emotional experience of empathy. I think there’s a good chance that alexithymia causes impairment of cognitive empathy, but not of emotional empathy–it just leaves you without any language for identifying or mapping the experience of empathy.

I also went through a lot of experiencing empathy for the wrong people, in other people’s view of who I should and shouldn’t have empathy for. And so told over and over again that I didn’t have empathy because I didn’t have it for the right people, I was convinced that I didn’t.

I tried to follow the link to Ramachandran’s article again and got a 404–do you know if the post was taken down due to the criticism it received?

Comment on Okay, I’m Superman by Clare

Clare — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 20:35:33 +0000

What you have said here is brilliant and refreshing to hear!

Comment on Empathy as a Form of Communication by Okay, I’m Superman » Michael Forbes Wilcox | Michael Forbes Wilcox

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 15:53:00 +0000

[...] wrote a post a month or so ago about empathy. There is also a huge catalog of writings on this topic. I don’t know a single [...]

Comment on Was Steve Jobs Autistic? by James

James — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 14:24:16 +0000

I am fed up with hearing about everyone jumping on the autism bandwagon. All you self diagnosed autistics out there should be forced to meet someone like my son who is 12 yo but intellectually is a 3yo. Stop medicalising quirkiness. Quirkiness is not a frickin illness it is a virtue. So what if you have trouble in social situations at least you have the ability to change your behaviours if you desire or find a lifestyle and career choices that reflect your quirkiness

Comment on Gaze Aversion: An Autistic Adaptation by Colin Bowman

Colin Bowman — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 15:50:28 +0000

I agree Michael, nothing autistic-specific in this, in terms of the medicalised autism model. I support autistically developing children educationally (woodwork), and I work to a social model of the autistic. A collective’s organised social precludes some perspectives in sustaining itself; if an individual takes a critical degree of recourse to precluded perspectives their development becomes autistically characterised. Modulation (rather than a binary of eye-contact versus no-eye-contact) of eye-contact can reflect recourse to precluded perspective. I can’t do realtime intersubjective confrontation, as a rule: although I do in moments of managed meltdown; and generally I just dip the autistic clutch, voicing my autistic view of things (across socially precluded perspectives) as something running in parallel with a social view of things. Reduced eye-contact is then a way of avoiding the subjective intensity of realtime conflict. Intention and instinct/reflexivity is involved in this. Following such modulated eye-contact I stream my cognitive processing into producing perspective which can get to where I want to get, without having to go through realtime confrontation and conflict with others.
Where any insight I get to across this introspection, becomes useful; is in viewing and understanding how students modulate their eye-contact with me. They will offer eye-contact to the extent that engagement with me does not obstruct them. They will reduce eye-contact to the extent that moving to where they intend to get, might risk realtime confrontation and and conflict with me. They too seek workarounds to avoid this realtime confrontation and conflict with me. To the extent that I can reconfigure so as to not obstruct them, and not pose risk of realtime confrontation and conflict, then they will tend to offer me fuller eye-contact. Student metldowns across what difficulties I pose students, also sees eye-contact varied.
I see thought-formulation as very fundamental. Most of my thought-formulation is autistic, in the sense that it offers up perspectives going against the grain of those relied on by any contextualising social; and then, as with you, eye-contact modulation gets involved. When I’m reading and feeling and evaluating other people, I don’t much rely on looking at their eyes: I don’t much convince others that I’m trully social; so I don’t think I do much intentional eye-contacting.
But I do touch people a lot; hand on the arm stuff. I think I do that to reassure others I’m attending and engaging, despite not being as much into eye-contact as others. Again, I do most of my important communicating in writing, across a keyboard; and no eye-contacting in that, in any conventional sense.

Comment on Gaze Aversion: An Autistic Adaptation by Michael Forbes Wilcox

Michael Forbes Wilcox — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 13:23:46 +0000

Nicely put, Colin. Just curious, though; you say you “avoid eye contact” (which I do, too), but I’m not clear if you mean that as something that you are intentionally doing. For me, it is instinctive to look away while I am formulating thoughts, and it is eye contact that is the thing I have to be intentional about.

Also, I think this may all be a matter of degree. Most people I know look “into the middle-distance” (as you so nicely put it) when they are thinking about what to say. I don’t think that is an autistic exclusive.

Comment on Gaze Aversion: An Autistic Adaptation by Colin Bowman

Colin Bowman — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 13:06:32 +0000

I look into the middle-distance and avoid eye contact whenever I’m working to say something that depends upon and affirms what is autistic. In such moments, eye contact would draw me into compromising social perspectives, perspectives that the other person (my interactional partner of a moment) would reflexively come up with. So I avoid eye contact when it would prevent me holding myself together as an autistic-affirming person. When I’m with other autistic-affirming persons, I don’t need to avoid eye contact. Eye contact can allow you to be thrown by social forces which act to prevent you being autistic.